The transition from being a “Stop over anytime!” friend to a
“So good to see you, it’s been too long” friend can be a hard one. Like
any break-up, one party sees the writing on the wall while the other
still wishes it could go back to the way it used to be. One wants to give it
another try while the other has it already wrapped it up. I once read a
magazine article about when and how to end a friendship. It’s focus: When it doesn’t seem to be working anymore
what is the kindest way to extradite yourself?
Knowing that when a relationship is
no longer a good fit sometimes the best thing to do is end it, does not make it
easy to accept, especially as the friend who is no longer needed. It’s difficult to find any zen in the
situation but there are ways to make it easier.
Chances are this spilt has been a long time coming and contact has
already been minimalized. With this said, it shouldn’t be too hard to find
other things to do because you’ve probably already gone that route. It’s a good time to keep yourself occupied - get
a job, take up a hobby, volunteer, join a club, paint a room. Get things done.
Remember this parting is much like
a spilt with a boyfriend. You don’t want to find yourself waiting for a call or
text. You want to keep busy. But, you’re
not just filling up your time. You’re also opening yourself up to meeting new
people. You’re taking the opportunity to try something new, something that
interests you. There will be other
friends in your life, friends that will remain loyal through thick and thin, who want you to be a part of their lives. After
all those are the people you really want in your life; a friend that will
join you for an occasional cocktail, straight up or on the rocks and this realization may be where
to find the zen and some closure.
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